Dome Stones

On Monday, July 4 1966, The Rolling Stones played the Dome in Virginia Beach during a U.S. tour in support of their latest LP, "Aftermath" (released in the States on  June 20) and their latest single "Mother's Little Helper/Lady Jane" (July 2).

Yep, Brian Jones, Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, Bill Wyman, and Charlie Watts probably swung into town around 3 or 4 in the afternoon after a 6 hour bus trip from a show in Asbury Park, NJ the night before. I can't prove it, but they probably took the 2-year-old Chesapeake Bay Bridge instead of the more time consuming I-95 South route. Before the show, they went t-shirt shopping along Atlantic Avenue, ate some salt water taffy, and jumped off the end of the fishing pier. Well...I don't have proof of that either, but who knows what they did? Did you go to the show? What do you remember about it?  I've heard that they stayed at the Viking Motor Inn on 27th Street (demolished December 2010). Can anybody verify that? Any information would be appreciated.

Not only did concert attendee Tom Moore write down the set list (after the show)...

1) Not Fade Away

2) The Last Time

3) Paint It Black

4) Lady Jane

5) Doncha Bother Me

6) Mother's Little Helper

7) Get Off My Cloud

8) 19th Nervous Breakdown

9) Satisfaction
 
...he took pictures.
 
 

Neat, huh? The only other picture I've found is from a 1998 Beacon...

The Stones didn't play the next day. Their next show was in Syracuse, NY at the War Memorial Hall on July 6. Seems like Brian Jones wore an American flag as a cape during the concert. Oooops.

The tour concluded in Honolulu, Hawaii on July 28. It was to be Brian's final U.S. concert performance (introducing Hendrix at the Monterey Pop Festival in June 1967 doesn't count). The concert was broadcast on Hawaiian radio and can be found on some bootlegs. Listen to the show here. It probably captures how the Stones sounded in the Dome. 

The next time The Rolling Stones played in Hampton Roads was almost exactly 6 years away...on July, 5 1972 at the Scope. Listen to that show here.

Interner and Hooch

Would you like to spend all your free time this summer working in the booming internet blog business? Long, sticky days of shuffling papers, steaming shellfish, and calling payphones all over Hampton Roads? If so, please leave a comment below and, somehow, we'll get back to you. We sure as hell aren't gonna put an email address up here. Did that before. Not again. Ever. May as well just burn our bank account number in the grass on the side of Mt. Trashmore as large as possible.

Tidewater Log Intern Requirements:

• Citizen of Norfolk, Virginia Beach, or Chesapeake. NO SUFFOLKERS
• Access to a 4-door car of some kind. Preferably a shiny, golden Hummer with purple tinted windows
• Not allergic to shellfish or Ricoh 339353 ink cartridges
• Able to rollerblade on cobblestones

Tidewater Log Intern Duties

• Updating Tidewater Log's facebook page every time something pops in your head
• Urging Lewis McGehee to befriend Tidewater Log on facebook as often as possible
• Organizing received facebook messages into 2 categories: "Creepy Threats" or "Boring Pleas"
• Researching story ideas until the predetermined facts kinda resemble the truth
• Finding, cleaning, and steaming clams or oysters. Lots of them. Every afternoon
• Assist in the daily search for Bruce Hornsby's hairdresser
• Dusting

Tidewater Log Intern Benefits

• FREE clam/oyster shells
• FREE access to semi-comfortable hammock (upon availability)
• One FREE drum lesson from Dwight, "drummer" for Coolin' Out

So, still interested? Thought so.

Search for Storm Troopers

This photo of the Virginia Beach Fishing Pier was taken in the early 1990s as a big, ol' storm was brewing in the Atlantic (please click on it to see it bigger)

Tidewater Log is looking for ANYONE that can identify ANYBODY in this photograph. 

Particularly, THESE people -

                                         Mr. and Mrs. Motorcycle

Mullett Man (in white shirt, against railing) and The Loner (foreground)

                                         Kid Fearless and His Cautious Granny

The Pampered Pooch, its Owner, and Mr. "Yes, Dear"

                                          ....and el Hombre muy Nervioso

Please help. I'm thinking about turning this photo into a mini-series or a puppet show and need everyone's permission before starting...tonight.

A Regal Gesture

Reclusive Virginia Beach millionaire and Gold Key/Professional Hospitality Resources CEO, Bruce Thompson finally broke his silence nearly a month after being chosen King Neptune XXXVII by holding an internet press conference early this morning. We're talking real early.  8-ish. But, when you're one of the few members of the local media given an exclusive evite to hear Mr. Thompson speak and maybe...just, MAYBE see him - you wake up whenever he says. Heck, who am I kidding - I stayed up all night for this. 

Although the image was blurred due to steam rising from his jacuzzi, no one could mistake the deep, slow southern drawl and constant cigar puffing for anyone else than the Oceanfront developer famous for building the 31st Street Hilton after citizens rallied against it...not to mention it blocks the range of a radar at Oceana crucial to Homeland Security. He's responsible for the whole Laskin Road Gateway project. When that's closer to completion, he'll probably start reshaping the entire Rudee Inlet loop area. He owns seven hotels, six restaurants, all the t-shirt shops on Atlantic Avenue, both loggerhead sea turtles at the Virginia Aquarium, and a flavored ice cart on the Boardwalk near 14th Street. In 1991, he was involved in obtaining some secret phone call recordings of then-Governor of Virginia, L. Douglas Wilder. Oh yeah, AND he wants to build this thing where the Dome used to be on Pacific Avenue.

Subtle, isn't it? Real beachy, too.

Here's what he said at the press conference:

Good morning everyone and thank you for joining me. To say that I was overwhelmed when I learned that I had been named King Neptune XXXVII would be quite an understatement. I was overcome with such a great wave of joy and gratitude that I began to cry. A knee-trembling powerful cry, too - not one of those one or two tear trickles. It is simply the greatest honor anyone could have bestowed upon them by the Neptune Festival Committee, which is primarily made up of other Oceanfront developers, restaurant owners, and their wives - in other words, my peers.

Now, the reason I've called you all to this morning's web conference. While I gladly accept the title of King Neptune XXXVII, sadly, I cannot accept the duties and privileges that accompany it. Over the years, I have been vilified by some of the long time residents of Virginia Beach. They've resisted the inevitable change that any resort city must endure. Old buildings get torn down. New, safe, bigger, more luxurious structures get built. If Virginia Beach wants to continue to attract visitors from all over the world, we must move into the 21st century. It's sad to see remnants of the Old Beach go, but they must. Nothing lasts forever, people. Get used to it.  

So, in order to appease the critics of my vision of our city - to show the year-round, tax paying locals that, hey, I'm not such a bad guy after all - I'm doing something that no other King Neptune has ever done. I'm relinquishing my crown.

(pause for gasps)

I have taken it upon myself, not the puppet committee, to appoint someone more deserving of all the pomp and attention. Ladies and gentlemen, your new King Neptune - Hector Nunez Jr.!

Hector's originally from somewhere in Guatemala, but he and his wife, Juliza, have been Virginia Beach citizens since 1998. Their lovely children Olivia, Hernando, Oprah, and Hector the 3rd were all born right here - making them true Beach locals. Hector has been an outstanding employee of Professional Hospitality Resources since early 2004. Traveling every single day by bus in the predawn hours from the Newtown Road area to the Oceanfront, working 10 hours or more as a dishwasher, a banquet server, a bathroom attendant, and currently, as a landscaper at one of my properties. Hector and the hundreds just like him are the ones responsible for making Virginia Beach what it is today - a vibrant, safe, family friendly East Coast summer fun spot. Not quite up to par with Myrtle Beach, but close. Very, very close. 

For his reign as King, starting today by the way, I hereby decree that he is exempt from work and he will still receive a paycheck every week...not his normal paycheck, however. He will receive mine. He can use one of my cars, too. 

Secondly, Hector and all of his family will be taking my place in the back of some festooned convertible for the parade on September 25th as well as ANY Neptune Festival events he feels up to attending. If he doesn't want to go to any of 'em - he doesn't have to. I can understand him not wanting to hang around city council members and other local dignitaries in some cheap tent on the beach, drinking warm Bud Light, watching Wang Chung and trying to make small talk. Trust me on this one, Hector - they're all boring as hell. I'll probably be heading to the Outer Banks for the entire festival. I've never attended one, so I why bother now, huh?

Oh - and also, once his kids are done with school for the year, I hereby decree that Hector and his family can occupy the top floor of the 31st Street Hilton. All of it. For the whole summer. No - the whole rest of the year. I'll make sure your house is taken care of. No. You know what? I'm giving you a Turtle Cay condo. Or how about two of 'em? The damn things are pretty much empty all year long, anyway.

Allright. That's it. Press Conference is over. I've got work to do. Those North End whiners won't stop yapping about the whole Laskin Road thing. Enjoy the summer everybody. Especially you, Hector. Enjoy the hell out of it.

 

Buy...or Beware

In a fragrant, well-lit restaurant in Virginia Beach's Town Center, Tidewater Log met with former "Best Of Hampton Roads" public relations coordinator and co-editor, "Mr. X", to discuss the dark side of the Virginia-Pilot's seemingly innocent and genuine annual contest. (No, "Mr. X" is not the real name of our informant...in fact there isn't an "x" anywhere in his name. Actually, it's a woman, but she made us guarantee that we'd conceal her identity as much as we could. Why she agreed to pose for a photograph, we'll never know. She may have been a little confused by the camera - thought it was a tape recorder or a phone or something.)

TL:  Thank you for agreeing to speak with us.

Mr. X:  My pleasure. I'm tired of keeping these secrets. I'm old and can do what I want. (laughs)

TL:  Okay - plain and simple...how does one get the "Best of Hampton Roads" distinction?

Mr. X:  Money.

TL:  The public has nothing to do with the outcome? 

Mr. X:  Nothing at all. The winner paid for everything - the banner, the little plaques, the mention in the paper. You know, it even costs to get on the ballott in the first place! That alone should tell you it's crooked. The public just doesn't...they don't see how things really are.

TL:  What happens to the ballots? The online ones?

Mr. X:  They're absolutely meaningless. It's just something to drive web traffic up for the newspaper's website. You know, on average just about 40 people go there a day...and most of them are members of the newspaper staff leaving angry, rambling comments their own and each other's stories.

TL:  How about the old mail-in ballots? What happened to those?

Mr. X:  Dumped 'em in the Bay myself. Unread. Hell - unopened!

TL:  So, are we talking about the winners paying for their awards with money...or products and services?

Mr. X:  Back when it started, 15 years ago, we'd do it for free oil changes, pizza, patio chairs, and such...but nowadays it's plain ol' money, honey (laughs).

TL:  How much?

Mr. X:  Depends. A frozen yogurt place or shoe repair place doesn't have to pay as much as a law firm, a private school - or one of them big ol' seafood buffets.

TL:  On average?

Mr. X:  Oooooooooh....I'd say...'bout twenty thousand for a high roller...three thou for a small fry.  And that was back in 2004, before I quit.

TL:  What happened? Why did you leave?

Mr. X:  I can honestly say that the people I worked with in the "Best of" division were the greediest, most mean-spirited, downright cruel people I'd ever worked with...and I used to work in a slaughter room up in Smithfield in my younger days.

TL:  Wow. Gross.

Mr.  X:  Yep. Pig brains being squeezed outta their lil' ears!  Squeeeeeeeeaaaawwww!!! (bugs out her eyes and sticks out her tongue)

TL:  Eeeeeeeew! SERIOUSLY - that's GROSS. No more.

Mr. X:  Aw, I'm sorry. (laughs) I'd see business owners really do a great job of campaigning - getting their customers to vote and spread the word and such. Some had just opened their restaurants or whatever and really thought that one of those banners hanging out front would bring in more customers. 

TL:  Well, they do...don't they?

Mr. X:  Not at all. Tell me, do you know anyone with any sense that frequents a business because of some cheap banner flapping in the wind out front? 

TL:  (thinking) Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Mr. X:  NO! Only an idiot would. Towards the end, I told some real nice folks to just print up their own if they feel the need to. Print one up and hang it yourself. (laughs)

TL:  So, the cruelty you saw? What happened?

Mr. X:  The public doesn't know about the team of about sixty "Best of" employees going all over Hampton Roads all year long intimidating and threatening business owners. I've seen 'em trash places because they thought the owners were hiding money. They'd smash windows after hours. They'd release bags of roaches or termites WHILE health inspectors watched. They're in on the whole thing, too, you know. 

TL:  That's horrible.

Mr.X:  Yep. And remember, these were families - with babies or kids in colleges. Their lives were ruined. In some cases of immigrant owned restaurants - the authorities were called, a raid took place, and they were forced to leave the country. Immediately.

TL:  All because of some dumb banner? or a sign?

Mr. X:  Yeah. People think it's really important...mostly the "Best of" staff. They don't mess around.

TL:  I guess it's their livelihood. They have to pretend it's important.

Mr. X:  Bingo. It's everyone at the newspaper's livelihood. We're talking about ALL the major regions of Hampton Roads - Portsmouth, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Suffolk, Virginia Beach, Hampton, Newport News, and Williamsburg. You do the math.

TL:  Dear God, we're talking about...

Mr. X:  It's a multi-million dollar operation. 

TL:  For....what?

Mr. X:  For nothing at all. Sounds like a good deal, doesn't it?  (laughs)

TL:  (laughs)

Mr. X:  (bugs out her eyes and sticks out her tongue again)

TL:  AAAAAAGH!  That's it - this interview's OVER!

Uncut for Our Pleasure

The following Hampton Roads things will NOT be cut from the state budget because they're waaaaaaaaay more important than teaching kids how to read or tap dance.







Local Programs and Services

Keep Rudee Inlet Somewhat Clean

Keep Ocean View Just a Little Seedy

Keep Virginia Beach Boulevard Beautiful

Rebuild the Dome

Save Pembroke Mall

Impotence Caused by Jet Noise Support Group

Free Shag Lessons for Seniors

Free Magazines for Bored Bay Colony Housewives

Free Hermit Crabs for Everybody


Local Attractions:

The Atlantic Avenue T-Shirt Museum

The Laskin Road Feeder Lanes

Town Center Taco Bell

Bruce Hornsby's House

Pat Robertson's Apartment

The Oceana Vineyards

The Knotts Island Nudist Colony

Fort Oberndorf

Fish Bones - Haiku Restaurant Review

Soggy hushpuppies

Flavorless everything else

Food not fit for bait

(more reviews of Fish Bones)

McGehee Sweheeps Local Acousty Awards

For the 18th year of his career, the 11th year in a row, and the first time this decade, Lewis McGehee has won every award at the 38th Annual Hampton Roads Acoustic Entertainmant, or "Acousty" Awards Ceremony, held on Tuesday in the Pungo Ramada's Somewhat Large Room B.

McGehee won first place honors in the following categories:

- Best Performer

- Best Guitarist

- Best Songwriter

- Best Fingerpicker

- Best Singer

- Best Use of Capo

- Best Sound

- Best Dressed

- Best Hair

- Best Stage Banter

- Best Diction

- Best Response to a Heckler

- Best Long Term Career Plan

- Most Improved Performer

- Most Willing to Travel Over 100 Miles in One Night for 2 Gigs

- Most Likely to Play Anywhere for Any Amount of People

- Least Likely to Offend Tourists

- Least Likely to Have Too Many Bud Lights and Burp Lyrics

Mr. McGehee graciously accepted all of his awards via a short text message. He was en route from a gig in Suffolk to one in Yorktown.

The evening's only glitch occured when a giggly, glassy-eyed Karl Werne stumbled onstage and wrestled the microphone away from Master of Ceremonies Mike Proffitt. Unrecognizable without his trademark wig or false moustache, Werne slurred his way through a bizzare rant that touched on a variety of topics including - Hondo guitars, thumbtacks, his unmanageable irrital bowel syndrome, unresolved storylines from "Coach", cold bubblegum soup, once eating a basset hound, John Mayer's legs, and the thrill of mixing various over-the-counter cold medicines. Werne continued mumbling as he was escorted out of the ceremony by Warren Seaburg, pausing only to ask audience members for money... and to break wind.

Female Lewis McGehee impersonator, Lois McGee quickly segued into a sing-along medley of McGehee's hits.

Thrill is Long Gone for Waterside Streaker

At some point before midnight, January 1, 2010, Rodney Furkin will jog nude through Waterside one more time. What began as a dare during Harborfest 1989 has stretched into a two decade long streak of streaking the downtown Norfolk marketplace at least once a month. For the last few years, Rodney, a 43-year-old ice delivery truck driver from Portsmouth, has been able to stroll Waterside at a leisurely pace totally unclothed - sometimes completely alone. "It's weird," he says, "nobody's there at all in the daytime anymore. I can get food at Mongolian Express, read a book on a bench in the food court completely nude and not be bothered. That would have been impossible back in '93 or '94!"

Prior to its current flaccid state, Waterside was a bustling social center. "I used to time my streaks for maximum crowd levels.  Friday nights were the best, right after the Fudgery would sing a song and people would be lined up for free samples. I'd sprint by and surprise everybody. Security would chase me, but I was super fast in those days. Never got caught.  Ever."

Steve Conkle, owner of the "Maximum Keychain Extravaganza" kiosk, says the public nudity is good for Waterside's rapidly shrinking business. "People get a real kick out of it. Rod will stop and let people take their picture with him...well, when there are people. He's like a celebrity around here.  Plus, he's a real nice guy. Last Christmas he wore a Santa hat and helped me unpack and set up a new shipment of keychains. I'm gonna miss him." Waterside's Assistant Manager of Public Relations, Bonnie Thurmell, did not return Tidewater Log's phone calls to comment on this story. When we knocked on her slightly open office door it opened - revealing a skeleton wearing a wig and glasses, sitting behind a desk covered in cobwebs. She still refused to comment.

Why is Rodney stopping now - right when Waterside needs him the most? "I'm getting old," he explains, "This summer I slipped on a slippery spot near the elevator and laid there on the ground, moaning in pain for about 6 hours before somebody noticed me...and streaking on crutches for a while after that just wasn't as exhilarating. I'm okay now, but it's time to pass the baton to someone else. I'd like to hope Waterside stays open for at least a few more years so somebody can have as much fun streaking it as I did. It used to be a real blast. I met my wife while I was doing it in August of 2000!"

Rodney won't give any details on when his final nude running will take place, but offers some advice for the new guy...or gal that wants to keep the streak streak going beyond 2009 - "Watch out for glass, hide your getaway clothes somewhere good, and smile."

Rodney streaked Waterside one last time between 12:41 and 12:48 P.M. on December 31, 2009 - and received a standing ovation from the janitor

Gala Gives Anchors a Way to Honor Themselves

The following speech was delivered last Tuesday evening at the 73rd Annual Hampton Roads News Broadcasters Association's Dinner Gala in downtown Suffolk by President Burl Hofheimer Sr.

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen.  Thank you for coming and thanks to all of you for driving separatley.  Can we fill up a parking lot or what?! (light laughter)

As 2009 draws to a close, so does another year of excellent local news broadcasting.  Despite our dwindling ratings, hundreds of people still rely on us to tell them the news.  If it's raining - we're outside to show them.  If a car accident happened - we're there, several hours after it happened, to show everybody that everything's fine.  If grease left on a stove started a fire that destroyed a few apartments - we're there, again - several hours later, to interview somebody that may have seen or heard something.

I would like to thank everyone for the continued, in-depth coverage of our greatest local heroes.  The noble young men that deserve our highest praise - the high school football players of Hampton Roads.  (resounding applause and cheers) Who won?  Who lost?  The mood of all Tidewaterians depends on our extensive coverage of every single one of their games.  Their fearless running, catching and kicking each Autumn fills a void that we must endure during the rest of the worthless, boring year.

A special thanks goes to our camera men and women for getting the tightest possible close-ups of people's faces while they're being interviewed.  With our new high-definition broadcast technology, the pores on their faces look like the finger holes on a bowling ball.  And when someone doesn't wish to appear on camera, I applaud your decision to increase the mystique of their identity by only filming their hat or feet or a hand.  A normal newscast suddenly takes on the feel of a strange, experimental foreign film.  I urge you to do more of those - even if they don't wish to remain anonymous.  Does anyone else detect the faint hint of an Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Gold Baton in the air?  (Andy Fox claps loudly)

For 2010, I only have a few suggestions.  I cannot (bangs podium) stress the importance of remembering what the housewife in Kempsville, the night desk clerk at a hotel in Hampton, or the stay at home mom in Ivor wants interspersed between 17 minutes of Haynes Furniture and car dealership commercials in a typical half-hour Hampton Roads newscast.  Is it raining?  When will it rain?  Did it rain while I was sleeping?  What did it look like?  What got wet?  Don't dwell on car accidents, gang fights, robberies, assaults, beach bacteria, swine flu stuff, troop deployments, local layoffs and such.  Those can all be summed up in sound bites -unless, of course, they happened in the rain.

 Also, the feigning of lighthearted small talk by all of you in the few seconds before Conan, Letterman, or Nightline must stop.  It's obvious it's forced, folks.  Just say goodnight and look down at your desk or watch or something.  No more umbrella jokes or anything. (coughs) Lawson!

So, now, (reading from card) Ladies and Geraniums - without farther, further...addoo, please...welcome Dabney Morgan and his puppet..."Mulch"...for a...an irreverent stroll through the garden of...laughter.

(light applause as Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" fades up)