Monday, April 26, 2010

Interner and Hooch

Would you like to spend all your free time this summer working in the booming internet blog business?  Long, sticky days of shuffling papers, steaming shellfish, and calling payphones all over Hampton Roads?  If so, please leave a comment below and, somehow, we'll get back to you.  We sure as hell aren't gonna put an email address up here.  Did that before.  Not again.  Ever.  May as well just burn our bank account number in the grass on the side of Mt. Trashmore as large as possible.

Tidewater Log Intern Requirements:

  • Citizen of Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Hampton, or Williamsburg.  NO SUFFOLKERS
  • Access to a 4-door car of some kind.  Preferably a shiny, golden Hummer with purple tinted windows
  • Not allergic to shellfish or Ricoh 339353 ink cartridges
  • Able to rollerblade on cobblestones

Tidewater Log Intern Duties
  • Updating Tidewater Log's facebook page every time something pops in your head
  • Urging Lewis McGehee to befriend Tidewater Log on facebook as often as possible
  • Organizing received facebook messages into 2 categories: "Creepy Threats" or "Boring Pleas"
  • Researching story ideas until the predetermined facts kinda resemble the truth
  • Finding, cleaning, and steaming clams or oysters.  Lots of them.  Every afternoon
  • Assist in the daily search for Bruce Hornsby's hairdresser
  • Dusting
Tidewater Log Intern Benefits
  • FREE clam/oyster shells
  • FREE access to semi-comfortable hammock (upon availability)
  • One FREE drum lesson from Dwight, "drummer" for Coolin' Out
So, still interested?  Thought so.