Friday, July 2, 2010

Freedom Pilot '76

Found the front page section of an old Virginian-Pilot from Sunday, July 4, 1976 at the very bottom of my elderly parakeet's cage today...


The great Guy Friddell asked some local folks to share their thoughts on the current state of the country. Here are some of my favorite excerpts.

"People today just don't give a damn about their fellow man," said Bob Moss, 31, a corrections officer and paramedic at St. Brides Correctional Unit.  "That's from right here in Chesapeake on up to Capitol Hill."  He reeled in his line, baited it with another cricket, and cast it out into the Northwest River again.  "Too windy today to catch anything, but it passes the time of day.  It's relaxing," he said, sitting back down on the railroad trestle.

"We're battling each other trying to keep up with the Joneses and how much money they make.  We want too much.  Too much comfort; machines to save us time.  But then what do we do with the leisure time?  How many sit on a riverbank like this and listen to the birds?"


I like to imagine Mr Friddell, dressed in slacks, white short-sleeved shirt, and tie getting back into his huge sedan, wiping the sweat from his brow, and waving to Mr. Moss as he pulls away. And just as the dust settles on the gravel road, Mr. Moss reels in a duffle bag full of soggy $100 bills.


"People don't take the time to understand one another,  They're indifferent," said Lance Manning, 23, as he lay on the sofa in his Norfolk apartment.  A deliveryman for a local bakery, he was home with an illness.  He was in his pajamas and his legs were covered with a blanket.


His wife, Donna, 18, a recent high school graduate, sat on the floor.  "The mood has been created by industry.  When we moved back here after the Navy, the area had changed.  It was more a mood of rush and hurry.  Industry brought in the deadline.  Lance has even changed.  Now he has more deadlines to meet.  And I can see a change in his personality.


"It's frustrating.  You're getting chewed up in this.  I just wish that sometimes people would stop and look at me, at everyone, as an individual: a different person."

Nice to see that the ol' "Sudden Pre-Independence Day Weekend Bug" was going around way back in 1976. I thought I invented it. 

I wonder how Mr. Friddell gained entry into their apartment. Was he driving around Norfolk looking for someone that appeared friendly enough to interview? How many people just flat out refused?  "Who? About what? Naw, man, I don't wanna say anything. I don't even read the paper."

Maybe Donna was getting something from their car, Mr. Friddell approaches and flashes a Virginian-Pilot I.D. card of some kind, Donna inspects it closely, and says "Well, I guess so. C'mon in".  Lance, lounging on the couch, watching "The Price is Right", is startled when she bursts back into the front room with a strange man in his 50s. "This man's from the paper and wants to talk to us.  Sit up."

Wonder if they're still together or if they're still in Norfolk? at the same apartment, maybe? My exhaustive googling (3.2 minutes worth) was fruitless.

Mr. Friddell talked a bunch of other people, including Rabbi Lawrence A. Forman of Ohef Sholom Temple in Norfolk ("We sometimes tend to let the problems control us rather than we controlling the problems."), three insurance salesmen at a restaurant in Suffolk ("Taxes and everything else is going up," said the one in a green plaid suit.), Natalie O'Shea, a divorced mother of three and the manager of Bayside Kennels on Virginia Beach Boulevard ("If it came down to it, I wouldn't accept welfare."), Air Force pilot Bill Walker in Redwing Park (He stopped playing Frisbee with his 15-month-old son Tyson to talk), and L. B. Parsons -

"Yeah, what's the use of complaining," said L. B. Parsons, 60, as he sat on a milk crate in his store, Parson's Grocery on Ballahack Road in Chesapeake.  Dust covered many of the items on the shelves.  "They're (politicians) going to do what they want.  You used to know that once a man got in, he'd vote one way,  Now they change so often you don't know what's happening."

Allright, enough serious stuff...let's get on with the HILARIOUS OLD ADVERTISMENTS!



Sears Putter Suits will never go out of style. They're all I wear.


Just two of the super deals to be found at Moore's Building Supply - at 3224 Atlantic Avenue in Chesapeake or 100 South Lynn Shore Drive. 


From Big Star Foods - with 16 locations all over Hampton Roads.


This is probably the strangest ad in the front page section. I wasn't aware that silhouettes were so immensely popular in the disco era that a silhouette artist's appearance at a Janaf department store had to be "HELD OVER 1 WEEK!". And not just for a quick little meet and greet - L. Pierre was there for about 8 hours each weekday and 6 hours on Saturday pumping out silhouettes at 88 cents a pop. This dude must have loved cutting people's profiles. Well, not everybody. At the bottom of the ad, it says "Bring your children (baby to 16 years) and Bottemer will cut delightful silhouettes in minutes".  And in tiny writing at the very bottom, it says "Sorry, Mr. Bottemer cannot accept phone calls."  Guess that was in his contract or something. "No, no - I can not accept 'zee telephon call. Tell 'zem to come here. I do 'zeir child's silhouettes only here." Actually, he might not have had a French accent. He could have had a Georgia drawl for all I know.

Check out some of his silhouette work here and one of his paintings here. After some random clicking, I discovered that Mr. Bottemer was the courtroom sketch artist at Richard Hauptman's trial New Jersey in 1935. You know, the guy that kidnapped Charles Lindbergh's 20-month-old son? Read all about it here.

Next to the silhouette artist ad, there's a funny review of a Harry Chapin concert at the Dome in Virginia Beach the previous Friday. The reviewer, Sean Brickell, and I aren't Harry Chapin fans. Read these two little snippets -

"For the first two hours of the second set, Chapin gave no more than 50% music.  The remainder of the time was spent telling songs' histories, personal philosophies, or jokes as predictable as the sun's rising."

"Unfortunately, all too frequently, the band tried to play rock n' roll, which it isn't equipped to do.  Chapin sadly tried to pass it off with concert cliches like 'boogie', 'rock n' roll', or 'can you dig it'?"

And finally, for no real reason, here's the tide chart. Enjoy.


 

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Heavy Metal Detector



I watched this guy scan a small patch of sand, dig up a chunk, shake it around, and scan it again for roughly 17 minutes.


He didn't find anything.



At least he's getting some exercise. 



Monday, June 28, 2010

Beach Pub - Haiku Restaurant Review


Classic fried scallops
Interior unchanged since
1982

(more reviews of Beach Pub)

Friday, May 28, 2010

Marshview Mayhem

UPDATE: WATCH THIS LOCAL NEWS STORY ABOUT Marshview Park!


You know that gigantic chunk of land near Salt Marsh Point in Virginia Beach?  Right on Rudee Inlet?  Since the 80's it's been the Navy's official "Crash Here if You're Gonna Crash" site for jets - most likely saving it from becoming the dumping ground for 6,000 additional Land's End condos.  You know - these things...


Bluh.

The fact that a jet from Oceana could come crashing down in it at any moment hasn't stopped nearby residents and homeless folks from doing pretty much anything they wanted to do in it - get drunk, smash bottles, ride ATVs, shoot guns, scare people, jog, etc. - but, soon, all that unsupervised, secret fun is about to come to an abrupt halt. 

The City of Virginia Beach just made a real esate deal with the Navy and plans to turn the property into a "low-density" park.  Sounds like pretty good news, huh? Well, Tidewater Log has obtained the final plans for the park and doesn't see how the term "low-density" applies to a 98 acre parcel of land covered entirely with trails and junk. Check it out - click on it to see it closer.



I mean...uhhh...WOW. I don't even know where to start on this wacky plan.  A "Kid's Zone"?  You don't mean a playground, do you?  A "Nature Museum" in the middle of what is currently a healthy, vibrant ecosystem? A stage? For what?! Lewis McGehee concerts? The "View Tower" might have been interesting - if you would have kept something natural to view down upon. I simply can't imagine all the trees that are gonna be removed for all this crap. Get ready for a mass exodus of raccoons and squirrels into the surrounding neighborhoods. And what about all the construction chaos? Yeeesh, that's gonna suck. By the way, who is paying for all of this? The city? I thought we were in debt?! Don't tell me there's gonna be an admission charge. And a parking fee. And "trail upkeep tax". And a mandatory t-shirt purchase.

Of course, there's got to be a gift shop - it wouldn't be right without one. Right on the small peninsula behind Shadowlawn. Great idea! And is that a bridge actually joining the end of Goldsboro Avenue to the park? Ummmmm, you may wanna talk to some of the residents about that. I think you'll be rebuilding that bridge a few times a year...unless you make it fireproof. That can't be cheap.

And, I'm really curious about the trail planning. Have you noticed that there are several existing trails already back there? Has anyone from the city been back there? I've been riding my bike on the property for years and, aside from having to clear some fallen branches or a hobo every now and then, the trails are quite good. And logical. Send someone back there. Someone in a cheap suit with a pith helmet and mosquito netting.

The above, final design was made by someone - or, most likely, a team of overepaid, clueless doofs - with no knowledge of the property, no consideration for the people that live around it, and no common sense of aesthetics or ecology.

Change it. Now.


Monday, May 24, 2010

Dome Stones


On Monday, July 4 1966, The Rolling Stones played the Dome in Virginia Beach during a U.S. tour in support of their latest LP, "Aftermath" (released in the States on  June 20) and their latest single "Mother's Little Helper/Lady Jane" (July 2).

Yep, Brian Jones, Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, Bill Wyman, and Charlie Watts probably swung into town around 3 or 4 in the afternoon after a 6 hour bus trip from a show in Asbury Park, NJ the night before. I can't prove it, but they probably took the 2-year-old Chesapeake Bay Bridge instead of the more time consuming I-95 South route. Before the show, they went t-shirt shopping along Atlantic Avenue, ate some salt water taffy, and jumped off the end of the fishing pier. Well...I don't have proof of that either, but who knows what they did? Did you go to the show? What do you remember about it?  I've heard that they stayed at the Viking Motor Inn on 27th Street (demolished December 2010). Can anybody verify that? Any information would be appreciated.

Not only did concert attendee Tom Moore write down the set list (after the show)...

1) Not Fade Away

2) The Last Time

3) Paint It Black

4) Lady Jane

5) Doncha Bother Me

6) Mother's Little Helper

7) Get Off My Cloud

8) 19th Nervous Breakdown

9) Satisfaction
 
...he took pictures.
 
 




Neat, huh? The only other picture I've found is from a 1998 Beacon...



The Stones didn't play the next day. Their next show was in Syracuse, NY at the War Memorial Hall on July 6. Seems like Brian Jones wore an American flag as a cape during the concert. Oooops.

The tour concluded in Honolulu, Hawaii on July 28. It was to be Brian's final U.S. concert performance (introducing Hendrix at the Monterey Pop Festival in June 1967 doesn't count). The concert was broadcast on Hawaiian radio and can be found on some bootlegs. Listen to the show here. It probably captures how the Stones sounded in the Dome. 

The next time The Rolling Stones played in Hampton Roads was almost exactly 6 years away...on July, 5 1972 at the Scope. Listen to that show here.



Monday, April 26, 2010

Interner and Hooch


Would you like to spend all your free time this summer working in the booming internet blog business? Long, sticky days of shuffling papers, steaming shellfish, and calling payphones all over Hampton Roads? If so, please leave a comment below and, somehow, we'll get back to you. We sure as hell aren't gonna put an email address up here. Did that before. Not again. Ever. May as well just burn our bank account number in the grass on the side of Mt. Trashmore as large as possible.

Tidewater Log Intern Requirements:


  • Citizen of Norfolk, Virginia Beach, or Chesapeake. NO SUFFOLKERS
  • Access to a 4-door car of some kind. Preferably a shiny, golden Hummer with purple tinted windows
  • Not allergic to shellfish or Ricoh 339353 ink cartridges
  • Able to rollerblade on cobblestones

Tidewater Log Intern Duties
  • Updating Tidewater Log's facebook page every time something pops in your head
  • Urging Lewis McGehee to befriend Tidewater Log on facebook as often as possible
  • Organizing received facebook messages into 2 categories: "Creepy Threats" or "Boring Pleas"
  • Researching story ideas until the predetermined facts kinda resemble the truth
  • Finding, cleaning, and steaming clams or oysters. Lots of them. Every afternoon
  • Assist in the daily search for Bruce Hornsby's hairdresser
  • Dusting
Tidewater Log Intern Benefits
  • FREE clam/oyster shells
  • FREE access to semi-comfortable hammock (upon availability)
  • One FREE drum lesson from Dwight, "drummer" for Coolin' Out
So, still interested? Thought so.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Search for Storm Troopers


This photo of the Virginia Beach Fishing Pier was taken in the early 1990s as a big, ol' storm was brewing in the Atlantic (please click on it to see it bigger)


Tidewater Log is looking for ANYONE that can identify ANYBODY in this photograph. 

Particularly, THESE people -

                                         Mr. and Mrs. Motorcycle



Mullett Man (in white shirt, against railing) and The Loner (foreground)


                                         Kid Fearless and His Cautious Granny



The Pampered Pooch, its Owner, and Mr. "Yes, Dear"



                                          ....and el Hombre muy Nervioso



Please help. I'm thinking about turning this photo into a mini-series or a puppet show and need everyone's permission before starting...tonight.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A Regal Gesture



Reclusive Virginia Beach millionaire and Gold Key/Professional Hospitality Resources CEO, Bruce Thompson finally broke his silence nearly a month after being chosen King Neptune XXXVII by holding an internet press conference early this morning. We're talking real early.  8-ish. But, when you're one of the few members of the local media given an exclusive evite to hear Mr. Thompson speak and maybe...just, MAYBE see him - you wake up whenever he says. Heck, who am I kidding - I stayed up all night for this. 

Although the image was blurred due to steam rising from his jacuzzi, no one could mistake the deep, slow southern drawl and constant cigar puffing for anyone else than the Oceanfront developer famous for building the 31st Street Hilton after citizens rallied against it...not to mention it blocks the range of a radar at Oceana crucial to Homeland Security. He's responsible for the whole Laskin Road Gateway project. When that's closer to completion, he'll probably start reshaping the entire Rudee Inlet loop area. He owns seven hotels, six restaurants, all the t-shirt shops on Atlantic Avenue, both loggerhead sea turtles at the Virginia Aquarium, and a flavored ice cart on the Boardwalk near 14th Street. In 1991, he was involved in obtaining some secret phone call recordings of then-Governor of Virginia, L. Douglas Wilder. Oh yeah, AND he wants to build this thing where the Dome used to be on Pacific Avenue.


Subtle, isn't it? Real beachy, too.

Here's what he said at the press conference:

Good morning everyone and thank you for joining me. To say that I was overwhelmed when I learned that I had been named King Neptune XXXVII would be quite an understatement. I was overcome with such a great wave of joy and gratitude that I began to cry. A knee-trembling powerful cry, too - not one of those one or two tear trickles. It is simply the greatest honor anyone could have bestowed upon them by the Neptune Festival Committee, which is primarily made up of other Oceanfront developers, restaurant owners, and their wives - in other words, my peers.

Now, the reason I've called you all to this morning's web conference. While I gladly accept the title of King Neptune XXXVII, sadly, I cannot accept the duties and privileges that accompany it. Over the years, I have been vilified by some of the long time residents of Virginia Beach. They've resisted the inevitable change that any resort city must endure. Old buildings get torn down. New, safe, bigger, more luxurious structures get built. If Virginia Beach wants to continue to attract visitors from all over the world, we must move into the 21st century. It's sad to see remnants of the Old Beach go, but they must. Nothing lasts forever, people. Get used to it.  

So, in order to appease the critics of my vision of our city - to show the year-round, tax paying locals that, hey, I'm not such a bad guy after all - I'm doing something that no other King Neptune has ever done. I'm relinquishing my crown.

(pause for gasps)

I have taken it upon myself, not the puppet committee, to appoint someone more deserving of all the pomp and attention. Ladies and gentlemen, your new King Neptune - Hector Nunez Jr.!


Hector's originally from somewhere in Guatemala, but he and his wife, Juliza, have been Virginia Beach citizens since 1998. Their lovely children Olivia, Hernando, Oprah, and Hector the 3rd were all born right here - making them true Beach locals. Hector has been an outstanding employee of Professional Hospitality Resources since early 2004. Traveling every single day by bus in the predawn hours from the Newtown Road area to the Oceanfront, working 10 hours or more as a dishwasher, a banquet server, a bathroom attendant, and currently, as a landscaper at one of my properties. Hector and the hundreds just like him are the ones responsible for making Virginia Beach what it is today - a vibrant, safe, family friendly East Coast summer fun spot. Not quite up to par with Myrtle Beach, but close. Very, very close. 

For his reign as King, starting today by the way, I hereby decree that he is exempt from work and he will still receive a paycheck every week...not his normal paycheck, however. He will receive mine. He can use one of my cars, too. 

Secondly, Hector and all of his family will be taking my place in the back of some festooned convertible for the parade on September 25th as well as ANY Neptune Festival events he feels up to attending. If he doesn't want to go to any of 'em - he doesn't have to. I can understand him not wanting to hang around city council members and other local dignitaries in some cheap tent on the beach, drinking warm Bud Light, watching Wang Chung and trying to make small talk. Trust me on this one, Hector - they're all boring as hell. I'll probably be heading to the Outer Banks for the entire festival. I've never attended one, so I why bother now, huh?

Oh - and also, once his kids are done with school for the year, I hereby decree that Hector and his family can occupy the top floor of the 31st Street Hilton. All of it. For the whole summer. No - the whole rest of the year. I'll make sure your house is taken care of. No. You know what? I'm giving you a Turtle Cay condo. Or how about two of 'em? The damn things are pretty much empty all year long, anyway.

Allright. That's it. Press Conference is over. I've got work to do. Those North End whiners won't stop yapping about the whole Laskin Road thing. Enjoy the summer everybody. Especially you, Hector. Enjoy the hell out of it.

 

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Buy...or Beware


In a fragrant, well-lit restaurant in Virginia Beach's Town Center, Tidewater Log met with former "Best Of Hampton Roads" public relations coordinator and co-editor, "Mr. X", to discuss the dark side of the Virginia-Pilot's seemingly innocent and genuine annual contest. (No, "Mr. X" is not the real name of our informant...in fact there isn't an "x" anywhere in his name. Actually, it's a woman, but she made us guarantee that we'd conceal her identity as much as we could. Why she agreed to pose for a photograph, we'll never know. She may have been a little confused by the camera - thought it was a tape recorder or a phone or something.)

TL:  Thank you for agreeing to speak with us.

Mr. X:  My pleasure. I'm tired of keeping these secrets. I'm old and can do what I want. (laughs)

TL:  Okay - plain and simple...how does one get the "Best of Hampton Roads" distinction?

Mr. X:  Money.

TL:  The public has nothing to do with the outcome? 

Mr. X:  Nothing at all. The winner paid for everything - the banner, the little plaques, the mention in the paper. You know, it even costs to get on the ballott in the first place! That alone should tell you it's crooked. The public just doesn't...they don't see how things really are.

TL:  What happens to the ballots? The online ones?

Mr. X:  They're absolutely meaningless. It's just something to drive web traffic up for the newspaper's website. You know, on average just about 40 people go there a day...and most of them are members of the newspaper staff leaving angry, rambling comments their own and each other's stories.

TL:  How about the old mail-in ballots? What happened to those?

Mr. X:  Dumped 'em in the Bay myself. Unread. Hell - unopened!

TL:  So, are we talking about the winners paying for their awards with money...or products and services?

Mr. X:  Back when it started, 15 years ago, we'd do it for free oil changes, pizza, patio chairs, and such...but nowadays it's plain ol' money, honey (laughs).


TL:  How much?

Mr. X:  Depends. A frozen yogurt place or shoe repair place doesn't have to pay as much as a law firm, a private school - or one of them big ol' seafood buffets.

TL:  On average?

Mr. X:  Oooooooooh....I'd say...'bout twenty thousand for a high roller...three thou for a small fry.  And that was back in 2004, before I quit.

TL:  What happened? Why did you leave?

Mr. X:  I can honestly say that the people I worked with in the "Best of" division were the greediest, most mean-spirited, downright cruel people I'd ever worked with...and I used to work in a slaughter room up in Smithfield in my younger days.

TL:  Wow. Gross.

Mr.  X:  Yep. Pig brains being squeezed outta their lil' ears!  Squeeeeeeeeaaaawwww!!! (bugs out her eyes and sticks out her tongue)

TL:  Eeeeeeeew! SERIOUSLY - that's GROSS. No more.

Mr. X:  Aw, I'm sorry. (laughs) I'd see business owners really do a great job of campaigning - getting their customers to vote and spread the word and such. Some had just opened their restaurants or whatever and really thought that one of those banners hanging out front would bring in more customers. 

TL:  Well, they do...don't they?

Mr. X:  Not at all. Tell me, do you know anyone with any sense that frequents a business because of some cheap banner flapping in the wind out front? 

TL:  (thinking) Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Mr. X:  NO! Only an idiot would. Towards the end, I told some real nice folks to just print up their own if they feel the need to. Print one up and hang it yourself. (laughs)

TL:  So, the cruelty you saw? What happened?

Mr. X:  The public doesn't know about the team of about sixty "Best of" employees going all over Hampton Roads all year long intimidating and threatening business owners. I've seen 'em trash places because they thought the owners were hiding money. They'd smash windows after hours. They'd release bags of roaches or termites WHILE health inspectors watched. They're in on the whole thing, too, you know. 

TL:  That's horrible.

Mr.X:  Yep. And remember, these were families - with babies or kids in colleges. Their lives were ruined. In some cases of immigrant owned restaurants - the authorities were called, a raid took place, and they were forced to leave the country. Immediately.

TL:  All because of some dumb banner? or a sign?

Mr. X:  Yeah. People think it's really important...mostly the "Best of" staff. They don't mess around.

TL:  I guess it's their livelihood. They have to pretend it's important.

Mr. X:  Bingo. It's everyone at the newspaper's livelihood. We're talking about ALL the major regions of Hampton Roads - Portsmouth, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Suffolk, Virginia Beach, Hampton, Newport News, and Williamsburg. You do the math.

TL:  Dear God, we're talking about...

Mr. X:  It's a multi-million dollar operation. 

TL:  For....what?

Mr. X:  For nothing at all. Sounds like a good deal, doesn't it?  (laughs)

TL:  (laughs)

Mr. X:  (bugs out her eyes and sticks out her tongue again)

TL:  AAAAAAGH!  That's it - this interview's OVER!




Thursday, February 18, 2010

Uncut for Our Pleasure




The following Hampton Roads things will NOT be cut from the state budget because they're waaaaaaaaay more important than teaching kids how to read or tap dance.







Local Programs and Services

Keep Rudee Inlet Somewhat Clean

Keep Ocean View Just a Little Seedy

Keep Virginia Beach Boulevard Beautiful

Rebuild the Dome

Save Pembroke Mall

Impotence Caused by Jet Noise Support Group

Free Shag Lessons for Seniors

Free Magazines for Bored Bay Colony Housewives

Free Hermit Crabs for Everybody


Local Attractions:

The Atlantic Avenue T-Shirt Museum

The Laskin Road Feeder Lanes

Town Center Taco Bell

Bruce Hornsby's House

Pat Robertson's Apartment

The Oceana Vineyards

The Knotts Island Nudist Colony

Fort Oberndorf