Bruce Almighty's Cavalier Idea

Hello - This blog is old, but still on the internet for people all over the world (including Hampton) to read and enjoy. Thank you.

On Tuesday, Bruce Thompson is gonna tell the Virginia Beach City Council what he would like to do with the Old Cavalier site. We already know that he thinks it would cost "tens of millions" to restore the hotel built in 1926, so I'm gonna go ahead and sound the cav-alarm loud and clear so everybody can get used to it - The Old Cavalier will be demolished. Smashed to bits. Then smashed into smaller bits and hauled off to some landfill somewhere, save for a few bricks that end up as doorstops on people's porches, then thrown away or misplaced when they're moved to an assisted living facility.

I'm guessing that most of you have only looked at the Old Cavalier as you zoomed by on Pacific Avenue, so you might want to slow down a little, glance a little longer, and maybe wave at it, because in a short matter of time, it will be totally gone and replaced by a bunch of cool new condos and stuff. Maybe, and please don't get your hopes up about this, just maybe another Buffalo Wild Wings location. Would that not totally rock the entire universe?!

All of the rickety houses and dinky motels that have been demolished at the Oceanfront over the last 30 years to make way for brand new hotels and shops and condos are anthills on a sandbar compared to this big bricked daddy. The crumbling of this "Colosseum O' Cobwebs" will send shock waves from the tip of Knotts Island all the way to that gross sex shop place on Newtown Road letting everyone know - The New Era of Virginia Beach has Dawned. The Past is Meaningless. Get Over It. Move back to Wash Woods Wussies.

Want history? Go to the DeWitt Cottage. There's never more than 2 people there. Or go check out the Adam Thoroughgood House. Sure, the George Thorogood house would be cooler, but he lives in Delaware. Or, if you want to talk about preserving things, what about Seashore State Park, or First Landing State Park as some weirdos call it. 2,888 acres of somewhat pristine, undeveloped, moss dangling all in your face nature. Go run around, ride your bike, or wade up to your ankles in the gross water. Have a blast. Just don't get caught up in any weird Navy murder/suicide thing.

This is now baby. We are in the future. Let's do this. I anxiously await what Bruce Thompson proposes. It's gonna give lots of people lots of things to do, there will probably be awesome wi-fi all over what ever it is, and in 2100, a bunch of people will get sentimental and try to save it from being torn down and replaced with something even better!

Diplomat Down

If you want to hug The Diplomat and say your goodbyes to another plot of sand on the beach that won't see sunlight after noon because a crisp, new mega-hotel will block it out - do it fast. It's crumblin' time!

Mount Trashmore - Haiku Review

I've haiku reviewed restaurants and thrift stores before, so why not local attractions?

Mound of rotting trash

Coke machine protected by

Angry metal cage

Shriney Happy People

Have you ever seen a Shriner's Parade? I have. Many. There was one today on Atlantic Avenue. I swear  I could keep what I saw at this year's parade a secret, but I won't.

Here's pretty much everything that you need to see to be able to tell your friends, "Yes, I have seen a Shriner's Parade". But remember, it's more in how you say it that will convince your friends that you were actually there. Keep a straight face and maintain eye contact through the duration of the entire sentence.

And that's it. Amazing, huh?

After the parade they go get drunker and by nightfall there's all sorts of mischief going on. Talk to somebody that's waited on a table full of Shriner's the afternoon of the parade. Wowza. Talk to somebody that's worked security or the front desk at a hotel the night of the parade. Yep.    

(Sometimes the clown makeup stays on the whole weekend)

Surf-render: Cheap Trick in Concert, Virginia Beach - September 1, 2012

Cheap Trick played on the beach as part of the American Music Festival and here's what everybody looked like.

Here's one of Rick Neilsen's 23,000 guitars.

Remember - if you don't want to rub up against all the sweaty people and you don't mind being unable to purchase overpriced beer, just stand on the small dune near the shore. It's FREE!

Here's what you do: Stroll onto the beach at about 11th Street or so, walk directly to the shore, walk towards the music (this is important), and when you're in sight of the 5th Street stage, saunter on up to the outskirts of the crowd and enjoy.   

Surf On Loosely - .38 Special in Concert, Virginia Beach - Aug 31, 2012

.38 Special played on the beach at night as part of The American Music Festival last night and here's what everybody looked like.

Donnie Van Zant, the middle Van Zant brother, is currently on hiatus from singing with the band, so getting to hear him sing was a real treat for all of us beer battered, deep fried Southern Rock aficionados

And yep - they saved "Hold On Loosely" for last. Only an idiot would expect it first.

Crowd Surfing: Beach Boys in Concert, Virginia Beach - July 3, 2012

The Beach Boys played on Independence Day Eve in Virginia Beach and this is what everybody looked like.

And here's what the band looked like.

I won't go into a full show review or moan about how they were augmented by 17 other musicians/vocalists on stage, but I will say that I'm glad I went. I can do one "amphitheater show" a year. There is no system to the exit parking strategy, tall beers were $11 each, and I'm not a fan the mandatory security pat down when you enter. But, it was fun. Fun? Fun!  

Mary's Restaurant - Haiku Review

Enjoy your breakfast

Surrounded by a bunch of

Senior citizens

Avoid the riots that occur on weekend mornings and hit up Mary's on a plain ol' weekday. You'll be seated and served and totally full within about 7 minutes. Great place.

Pair of Mice Lost in Jet Crash

Friday's jet crash in Virginia Beach has been called "The Miracle on 24th Street". You know - the huge explosion, fire everywhere, toxic fumes, hundreds of kids traumatized, a whole bunch of elderly folks now homeless.... "miracle" is the only word that comes to mind. Unfortunately, the crash did cause some fatalities. Pet fatalities. Fatalities just as important as any others that would have gone unreported if it wasn't for me hanging around the site and talking to people. I spoke to lots of residents of Mayfair Mews on Saturday and lots of friends and family of residents. Nearly 100. I learned a few things from my experience. First, when microscopic carbon fibers get into your lungs - it hurts. A lot. I've been coughing nonstop. And people love animals. A whole, whole lot. Here are some that are no longer with us.

Pip and Squeak 

(Squeak is on the left in the

photo - Pip is on the right)

Owner Frida D. called them "the nicest little creatures on the planet". She'll miss making them special holiday cookie treats and watching "Deal or No Deal" with them. "We all hated that banker guy that's up in that darkened room. Squeak would make a loud hissing noise whenever he called Howie." Tears came to her eyes when she recalled the first time she saw them shivering and huddled together in the pet shop. "They were so small and helpless. I felt like I could give them a happy life and I did...a horrible, agonizing death - but a happy life."

And that's it. Yep. Just two mice. Amazing, huh? All of the pets have been accounted for and most are doing fine. Here's an update on some that survived.

Hans

Hans the parrot let out a big squawk a few seconds before the crash. Owner Wesley L. jumped up from his easy chair, grabbed his wife Julia, and immediately hid in the closet because, according to Wesley, "Hans never speaks. He's a nice quiet bird. I knew he was alerting us to something dangerous."

Lord Dunbar

Pearl V. was eating a carrot when she thought she heard her television fall over. "I thought it would happen one day", she explains "My television stand is real flimsy. I got it at Super Kmart up at Hilltop and it just leans to the side. My grandson put it together and he said there could be a piece missing, so I called the Super Kmart and told them about it and they said that they would need to see the box it came in. I said that I threw the box out and they said maybe I threw away a screw or a nail with the box, but I said I didn't think so, but I called my grandson to check the trash and see if it was in there, but he said they empty the trash on Monday and I think it was past Monday by that point."  

Lord Dunbar dragged Pearl out of her burning apartment. Neither was injured. Fortunately, the television stand was incinerated beyond all recognition so she can stop worrying about it.

Dopey

"Dopey is just dandy", owner Julius Q. beams. "When I told him we lost all our stuff and had to go live in a hotel he yawned! That's such a typical Dopey thing to do. He had so many lovely gowns and coats and sweaters, but they're all gone. I told a man with the military that they were valued at over $30,000 and he said that he would tell his commanding officer immediately and everything would be taken care of. That was Friday night and I haven't heard anything...yet. At least he still has his favorite hat!" 

Kiefer

Neighbors were less than thrilled when they learned that Kiefer the dog was alive and well after the crash. Don B. lives a few apartments away from him but hoped the dog had perished in the fire. "All that damn dog does is yap. All the time. It's worse than the jet noise. After the initial terror of fleeing and not knowing if the world was ending, I thought 'Wow - now at least maybe Kiefer is dead'. I know it's horrible to think, but it's true." Don's wife and several neighbors nodded in unison. Kiefer's owner Nadine E. says she's glad he's alive. When I asked if she's ever thought about trying to stop him from yapping so much like maybe taking him to the dog place on Birdneck for some obedience training, she replied that she was deaf and didn't care.

Bosco

Owner Sylvia W. says that all Bosco does now is stare at local news on television. When the news isn't on he stares at the phone. "Just back and forth. All day and night. Hardly eats anymore. It's sad. He used to be so fun". 

Log on the Job

Do you have a cool job? A job that gives you access to a strange location where you perform unusual duties? Lighthouse sweeper? Bruce Thompson's masseuse? Oyster shell sniffer?
   

I want to follow you around for a day, watch what you do, bug you with a bunch of questions, write a story, and post it here for my 29 readers to enjoy. If you're not allowed to have people follow you around or some other dumb work rule that could get you fired - then YOU be the reporter/photographer and send me an exclusive peek into your weird daily routine. If it's a job you want to leave soon, we could have a whole lot of fun with this.  

Send me a message on facebook with a description of your job and if it makes at least ONE of my eyebrows raise - I'll get in contact with you.